Strength and Joy

I originally started my blog to share our story all at once, and as a diary for what I hope Grace will one day read.   It has been amazing to open yourself up to others, so they can walk your journey with you.  I realize now, the impact it has had on our family.  The amount of people that are praying wouldn’t have happened at such a magnitude as it has, if we would have kept this to ourselves.  Thank you, each of you for your continued prayers, kind words; you have been such a blessing to our family.  

For where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am among them.  Matt. 18:20

There have been a lot of tough days emotionally lately.  It seems I have more of them as the time comes closer.   A precious lady from our church is making a dress for Grace out of my wedding dress.  I had gone into the closet to get it out one day and then it hit me.  This would have been Grace’s room, and I’m getting my wedding dress out of her closet to be made into a dress for her.  I just turned around, sat in the floor and cried.  The same closet the dress has hung in since we moved into the house.  There is no coincidence that it has hung there waiting for her.  I looked around the room and was thinking of all the plans we had for the room. I looked at the wedding dress that I wore over 20 years ago and thought she will never play dress up in this…. she won’t try it on, she will never pretend she is the fairest princess of them all.    Thank goodness she will get to wear it though.  Blessings come in many ways, though they may be different than what you thought.

Last week I received a sweet post from a former student of mine.  It said “thank you for talking me out of dropping out of school.”  Now to see her graduated, and an amazing mother following her dreams makes me thrilled.  Another previous student wrote me the most beautiful letter.  To hear her words of wisdom at such a young age, to see how much she has grown from her past experiences.  

Just to see how these priceless kids grew up into amazing women.  Both of these girls have had to endure tough things in their lives, yet the things that their  experiences have done has been to make them both strong.  I see all that they have overcome; and they are both now strong, amazing women of God.   A lesson we can all learn.  They have both shown that it doesn’t matter what has happened to you in your life, you chose how you use it.  You can become bitter or you can use it to become strong.

“Be strong and take heart, all who hope in the Lord." Psalms 31:25

I chose strength.  Your prayers have helped us all to become strong. Stronger than we knew we could ever be.  Strength is something that I pray for daily.  Sometimes by the minute.  Grief, if that is what you call this, is crazy.  One minute you are ok, the next second the smallest thing can set you off.  This has happened more times than not lately.  The tears will just start rolling down my face and there is no stopping…it is like they just appear.  I know life is hard, life is hard for everyone.  I want to scream, then cry, then yell…..It feels like a pit that you can’t get out of…you feel alone.  Then I have glimmers of sun that God sends.   Jack and Blaine running their bobsled (wagon) down the street without a care in the world, the words I love you; a crazy made up song they sing to Grace, the text from a friend just to say “I’m thinking about you”, the letter from a stranger that is praying for you.  The sun will continue to shine; my joy will still be there; it all just will look different.  Every morning as I get up I say to  myself, chose joy,  we can do this today.  He will guide us; He will lead us,  He will help us through.

Blaine went to Austin this weekend and bought Grace this pen with her name on it from UT.  He told his Dad, I bought it so she will know from the beginning to be a Longhorn fan.  I love his faith.  

Please pray for us tomorrow.  We go back to see Dr. Ashley.  I’m so excited to get to take another peek at our beautiful baby girl!

I have loved the sermon series our preacher has done on Ginormous Audacious Prayers.  It is awesome how God sends you the perfect things to hear at the perfect time. We had the opportunity to share part of our testimony a few weeks ago.  If you have time, I hope you can watch it  and his sermon.  I have attached the link below.  The entire series is great if you can watch them all.
http://new.livestream.com/FBW/events/2813659/videos/46642241

In His Love,
Deidra